Update

Well time to update...
There is only one word to describe how I feel.. suck

I've been thinking and I am way jealous of Abraham. He was asked to sacrifice his son and how hard that would have been. But then an angel came and stopped him from doing it. Where is my angel? I want one of those to tell me that I can have my baby back and that for my willing to sacrifice I will receive many blessings! But no! I get no angel. I get a broken heart and pain. I hate this. I want an angel!!!

Another thing that sucks is that on sunday I saw a friend of mine who got a girl pregnant about the same time as me, but he decided to stay with her and get married like the prophets asked and I saw them on Sunday and he was holding his little boy so happy. WHY COULDN'T THAT HAPPEN TO ME?!?!?!?!?! It brakes my heart and tears me to pieces!I want Matt so bad still and he still doesn't want me. I want to be married to him and have my baby, but I will never. They are both gone. How could I ever be happy again?