Saturday, November 21, 2009

21 days!

21 days to go and I can't wait! I'm so tired lately and have been feeling way sick lately. I have had this forever cold and have been just miserable.
Yesterday Matt and I went out to lunch, kind of... we went to this place in scottsdale and walked around some outside boutique things. It was really cute and fun. Every where I go I always get "oh when are you due" and then I say Dec 12. They always say oh that's so soon! Good luck. I think it was weird for Matt to be there with me as I heard this. He would kind of turn his head like he wasn't listening. One person stopped us and said it was going to be a beautiful baby and we should be very happy for this new adventure. He smiled and said thank you. I said we were very excited for our little girl to come into this world. I wish he was excited for it. I wish he understood how hard this is for me.
Lately all my friends have been asking if I am nervous... I say extremely (which I totally am, I don't want to be in labor at all). Then they seem to always ask about if i'm nervous for the handing over part. To be honest I'm trying not to think about it. It scares me, but probably not as much as labor does. I think that it is going to be hard. Writing about it is making me think about it and now I'm getting way nervous. Can I do it? Well I know for sure I can't not do it. AHHH!!! My stake president and bishop are coming over tomorrow to give me a blessing because i am scared and I hope that it will comfort me and help me through this very difficult time.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

bad dream again

I had another nightmare last night about Matt... I went to his house and told me that I loved him and begged him to be with me!! I wanted to start a family and be with him. I woke up at four with this dream in my head. I didn't want to go back to sleep because I didn't want to hurt again. I kind of wish my dream was real. I want to ask Matt one more time to be with me, but I'm to much of a scardey cat. Also I already have all these plans to be a nurse, give the baby to better parents then us, and just life. I don't know what to do. :( Just let life be...

Here's some pictures of the couple and I :)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

36 weeks and counting

Last night was really fun. We went to Carrabba's then to0 my sister heather's house and played games. Jesse and My brother-in-laws played video games while the girls played Yahtzee! It was fun, but then I got really tired, really fast. I got home a little earlier then eleven and was exhausted!! Then I felt kind of sick and threw up. I was so tired and grumpy! All today I have been tired and grumpy as well. I hate being 36 weeks pregnant! I want her to come out NOW!! It's so annoying! I want to quit school because it is stressing me out. I have so much homework tomorrow! AHHHH!!! My brain hurts :(. Overall is was a good weekend though. It felt good to finally get out of my house and have a good time with people I love. I just wish I wasn't pregnant. I am getting more and more nervous for labor, but I can NOT wait to be NOT pregnant! It is a long nine months of back aches, feet pain, butt pain, stretch marks, ah and just ah! PAIN!!! I am so excited to get over this! I am going to miss my baby though :( She means the world to me and I wish she was mine. :( I wish I wasn't so grumpy today either. Hopefully my hormones will calm down tomorrow so I can be nice and in a better mood. I don't like being mean, but I just can'[t help it sometimes. AH!
Well I have some pictures of Jesse, Jaymie, and I, but I'll wait to put them up because I feel like I have too many pictures up. Tomorrow they are coming over for the doctors apt. I'm excited to see if she is going to be able to come early. haha!

Saturday, November 14, 2009


Exactly four weeks until my due date! I am going out to dinner tonight with my sister's and Jesse and Jaymie! I'm excited to show them off! And I get to meet Jaymie's brother and his wife! I can't wait! :) We are all going to CARRABBA's to eat dinner. J and J always pay for me. I feel bad. :( They should save the money for when my baby girl comes :) I love them to death and can't wait for my family to meet them.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

more crap

I have had so much I have wanted to write about, but so little time. I now have 5 weeks left to go, but it feels like forever :(. My doctor said I've gained too much wait, but I don't really care because Chocolate is my healer when my heart hurts. Jaymie came to the last doctor apt. with me which was on monday. I like it when she comes to see her baby. Jesse wants to come to the next one she said. I think that is so cute! I hope he does (even though my next visits are going to be checking the cervix). :) I hope he does come.
Jesse and Jaymie bought me a foot massage thingy because oh how my feet have been hurting!!! I really appreciate it and think they are just amazing!
I've been sick the past few days :( It really sucks having a cold, going to school, and being pregnant. Not just pregnant about to pop pregnant. haha
So I never really got to talk about Halloween on here. My halloween night was spent playing cards with my neighbor friend and my mommy. Great huh? My sister did join in later and I really enjoyed that. I hate not having a life. I wish that I had more friends to go out and do stuff with. I hope next year will be a little better. I miss my best friend Ami more than anything!!! I wish she would come home to me :(. My nephews birthday was two days after halloween and that was fun! I love having my family over and playing with my nephews (even though Dallin is the one that got me sick :(... ).
So I'm going to try and post some pictures. If I can figure it out. :)