tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24598875624781159352024-03-05T01:59:18.202-08:00Starts With GoodbyeUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger86125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-29207424408617602612013-12-02T21:44:00.002-08:002013-12-02T21:44:28.955-08:00some pictures together :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisHUCMiVZaHMZhzfo6FCdECqhL2pKp9m2wwHhnOM5Y2ZPc5Wm_x9ZLrDaad1wx1in1oOhyphenhyphenmHq1VcCGh9dJ28FNEqQhtVvULo7kzhUcUUujmKLbtm9SJw7STSeRpxLJP7WUKPzhJxwzQ7s/s1600/early+2013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisHUCMiVZaHMZhzfo6FCdECqhL2pKp9m2wwHhnOM5Y2ZPc5Wm_x9ZLrDaad1wx1in1oOhyphenhyphenmHq1VcCGh9dJ28FNEqQhtVvULo7kzhUcUUujmKLbtm9SJw7STSeRpxLJP7WUKPzhJxwzQ7s/s320/early+2013.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-4425086950879103172013-12-02T21:35:00.001-08:002013-12-02T21:35:42.563-08:00I am a BirthmomI am a birthmom. Many people don't know this about me because it's not something I go around sharing with everyone. I wish I could though because to me talking about Henslee (my daughter) is my most favorite thing ever, especially today! Today is her birthday and I just want to tell everyone I meet. I want them to know that today 4 years ago at 3:01pm I gave birth to a very healthy beautiful 8lbs 12oz 21inches long little girl! I gave her life when I was single and 19. I was old enough to keep her, but she would've been raised by my mom and I instead of her having a dad. I wanted her to have a dad so bad. I also wanted to keep her. I wanted to be her mom. I wanted not to place her for adoption. I wanted to never ever leave her side. But that wasn't what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to place her. I was supposed to give her to Jaymie and Jesse Maughan. I was supposed to love her from afar and be her guardian angel. I don't know why that was my road to have to continue to go through but it is. I am a birthmom and I am proud of it. I don't think I did something courageous or marvelous. I don't think I did it because I was "too young". I think I did it because she was meant to be with her parents and there was no denying it. <br />
I am a birthmom to a 4 year old little girl who I got to see tonight. I get to see her a lot. My adoption is open and a beautiful thing! I get to see her as much as I want and I get to hold her and sometimes even babysit her. I get to love on her and I will get to do this forever. My adoption is a beautiful thing that is one of my favorite topics to talk about, but it is not all daisies and roses. It hurts to be a birthmom. It hurts to have my daughter not with me. It hurts looking at myself in the mirror and seeing stretch marks, but no baby or excuse for them. It sucks when other moms are talking about there birthing stories and I sit there with my mouth shut because they don't know that I have had a baby. I hate not kissing her goodnight every night. Sometimes late at night when I am missing her I pretend she's holding my hand and I squeeze it then say goodnight then I cry myself to sleep. It still hurts, not as much as it did within the first year, but i still does hurt. I don't cry as often, but I still cry. <br />
I am a birthmom who wants the world to know, but don't want the thoughts that people have about me. I don't want the negativity that comes sometimes when people hear that I am a birthmom. I have had to much negative when I tell people that I am very picky on who I tell, but because of this I feel as if I am very stand-off-ish now. I want to tell everyone and their mom, but I want positive things when I talk about Henslee. I don't like weird looks or when people never bring it up because she is my life and my blessing. She is my best friend and my hero. She is my everything and if you can't respect that you don't deserve to know about my secret. I keep my secret close to my heart and if you deserve to know I'll share it with you... one day.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-41458125658570934542013-04-10T17:38:00.001-07:002013-04-10T17:38:42.875-07:00you are there and i am hereI miss you Princess! You are my hero and best friend! I love you and hope all is well. You just keep smiling and I will always be here for you!<br />
Love, your guardian angelUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-48092269885540955622013-03-15T12:18:00.001-07:002013-03-15T12:19:07.042-07:00March 15, 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2zNYaXmdVlphgYvAsEPh-X6xcrNj0-qVMdSzJ1mZzCwAaiFImZ-r2eHmhV0y1enY4JFVRVhMRAAmzOPzpx2lsrCWGHTpSpDrSpM1q4epKfa_ZstUK93nuEWt-p2RxM887kzOafWfb_Yw/s1600/Jaymie-33.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2zNYaXmdVlphgYvAsEPh-X6xcrNj0-qVMdSzJ1mZzCwAaiFImZ-r2eHmhV0y1enY4JFVRVhMRAAmzOPzpx2lsrCWGHTpSpDrSpM1q4epKfa_ZstUK93nuEWt-p2RxM887kzOafWfb_Yw/s320/Jaymie-33.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
I decided I wanted to write a small example of how many times a day I think about my princess.<br />
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Yesterday: I woke up and saw her picture sitting on the desk as I left. Got in the car and headed to work. Thought about my friend who just had her baby that made my thoughts turn to Henslee. Got to work and they talked about having a mother's day party in May. The first thought was I need to take that day off, and I wanted to cry. I didn't though. I held strong and just walked away. No one at work knows I had a baby so therefore I am a mother. There's a girl I work with who is pregnant and she always talks about her pregnancy and I have to pretend I have no idea what it feels like. So basically Henslee is with me at work all day! I sometimes hold my kids at work extra hard because I pretend they are her and I can hold her close to me. Then that night we went out to dinner and I was thinking about calling Jaymie and ask how she was, but I didn't. Then to the school for Jared to go to a class and I listened to music and scrapbooked. Henslee is in every song I listen to. She's my love, my hurt, my happiness and sadness. She is always with me and I love her more than anything! <br />
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This is my typical day of thinking of her. She will always be on my mind! :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-5650350729955851032012-12-05T23:10:00.002-08:002012-12-05T23:12:02.495-08:00I never left her!Tonight I am crying. Tonight I am sad! Today 3 years ago I signed the papers to place my beautiful little girl for adoption. Every day since has been a struggle. I am a mother who is grieving. People think that I am not, because it was a choice, but I am!!!! The worst part about everything is that I know she's where she is supposed to be. That is something that should give comfort, but how can it when all I wanted was to be her mom and it wasn't what i was supposed to do. <br />
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I want to make it very clear thought that I DID NOT leave my child. I placed my child with parents who were supposed to be her parents. I DID NOT LEAVE HER or will I ever leave her. I will be here for her til the day I die! She is apart of me forever and for always no matter what!!!! I don't understand who could leave their child or children for drugs, money, ect., It just breaks my hearts for those children, but I am not a mother who left her child for any of that. I am a mother who feels like her child passed away at birth. I feel like I had this beautiful baby girl for 3 days that I will treasure so close to my heart and then that child went to where she was supposed to be and is now not my child. My child never left the hospital that day. But are not all children God's children? They all have a plan that is set out for them and parents are just guides to get them where they need to be. <br />
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Here's some lyrics that help express my feelings just a little bit because feelings for me are so hard to express:<br />
"I'll start out by saying that my heart is breaking, but that wouldn't truly convay the depth of my feeling there's no use concealing the things i don't know how to say.<br />
You'll be leaving and i'll be grieving. A dream that never will be.<br />
It's a hard test when whats best for you is hardest for me.<br />
When this decision made such a revision in plans i held tightly before my fear was that it wasn't clear to me that giving you up was really giving you more<br />
Because anyone loving you more than i already do was hard to believe.<br />
It's a hard test when whats really best when whats really best for you is hardest to me.<br />
It's a taste of the bitter that lets us know better by one suffered in Gethsemane.<br />
It's a hard test when whats best for you is hardest for me!"<br />
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Tonight i grabbed my stomach wishing you were in there again because then you would be close to me. I miss you little miss and hope your sleeping well tonight. You are on my mind just like every night.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-85641977445054722462012-11-07T18:24:00.002-08:002012-11-07T18:24:47.337-08:00Pictures!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My birthday visit back in may. We got some professional ones done a few weeks ago but I dont have them yet. soon :)<br /><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-41651829540558918482012-11-07T18:06:00.002-08:002012-11-07T18:06:45.937-08:00i love you little oneDear Henslee,<br />
I have so many unpublished posts on here I didn't want people to see. I might not even publish this. Depends what comes from my brain tonight. I love you more then words can say. I miss you every day! I want you in my life every day. I don't like writing my feelings because Jesse and Jaymie are amazing parents and I wouldn't want anything to change I just still have this hole in my heart. I probably don't even make sense. I'm sitting here listening to music thinking of you. Every song no matter what its about reminds me of you. I'm in a crowded room but feel so alone wanting to cry. I just pictured you running up to me calling me mama, but your not. To have you with me would be the best gift ever, but I know your where you need to be. Where Heavenly Father told me to put you. I'm holding back the tears as I see your beautiful face in my mind. I saw you a week ago tomorrow and that was so good seeing you. You are growing up! Your so big and getting so smart. You may have special qualities, but I think you are the smartest almost 3 year old in the world!!! Less then a month til your 3! Wow! Hens... You are so beautiful! You make my smile bigger then anyone else. <br />
<br />
Henslee I have tried so hard to slowly not see you. I have slowly tried to let go. It sometimes feels better to not see you, but I can't let you go. Not fully. I don't think I'll ever let you leave my life. I'll always be there for you and your parents if you need anything!! Your parents are going through some stuff right now and they have such a positive perspective. I am so happy you have them to hug and kiss you goodnight. But I promise there isn't a night that I hold my teddy bear and kiss it and tell it "good night henslee." And if that teddy isn't with me I pray as hard as I can to have an angel hold you. I know there are angels that help you through your day because I pray for that every night! It comforts me to picture one of them holding you and rocking you. Your parents do an amazing job, but sometimes when they are not there you have angels surrounding you. <br />
<br />
I seriously couldn't be more grateful for everything your parents do and have done.<br />
I haven't posted in a while because I am terrified to offend anyone with my words, because I know I have before.<br />
I just still hurt and miss her. I always will. and I like to write about it. It comforts me. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-8511941302609448632011-08-09T12:44:00.000-07:002011-08-09T14:28:32.286-07:004th of July
<br />This is Henslee with her new baby brother Nixon who id my best friends birth son. I'm so glad she has a little brother now :)
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<br />Henslee has been in Utah since the end of June which has been so sad for me :( I have missed her so much!!! Jared and I actually went to Utah for the fourth of July to visit his family and ended up I got to stop by her grandparents house for a short 10 minutes so i could see her in her cute 4th of July outfit!!!! She is so perfect no matter what anyone else says!
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAw8VlNF9_uSjKxPfvLfgpBWt-C_Vti8iFCYpYScjY_1Ey6tFQpfmNNWBrY4GFWpwd_2xrPmqlFhLlE4U2owKPn9J0M20kST3ZjbGsj9K2AxylEcU6Dc26EYfkMZyTAgoPFKNz-0WvwtA/s1600/DSCN3875.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 262px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAw8VlNF9_uSjKxPfvLfgpBWt-C_Vti8iFCYpYScjY_1Ey6tFQpfmNNWBrY4GFWpwd_2xrPmqlFhLlE4U2owKPn9J0M20kST3ZjbGsj9K2AxylEcU6Dc26EYfkMZyTAgoPFKNz-0WvwtA/s320/DSCN3875.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638970903285572738" /></a>
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiLv8AUs5ZqD1sqdWbWB39WCa1uHv7txXUK3Z-QF0h4aHgXIunPVK_SbZGGr3vngevYlzus6ONkRfrqSjuacK1TmucJlA7TlfKBkmEGqrxwskv6xY0wsfuNUTw_wEdKUahrJooxOVef7g/s1600/DSCN3879.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiLv8AUs5ZqD1sqdWbWB39WCa1uHv7txXUK3Z-QF0h4aHgXIunPVK_SbZGGr3vngevYlzus6ONkRfrqSjuacK1TmucJlA7TlfKBkmEGqrxwskv6xY0wsfuNUTw_wEdKUahrJooxOVef7g/s320/DSCN3879.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638970896028280290" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-10818486220701679402011-07-14T08:26:00.001-07:002011-07-14T09:53:49.229-07:00Life after a change!!I know I stopped writing on the blog because I said that I've moved on in my life and most of my healing was over and then I started a new blog of Jared (my husband) and I's life together. But I do want to write more on this blog. I will never fully be healed with the loss of my daughter. I miss her even still today. I always think about her. I always want to hold her and be with her. I am so greatful that she has her mom and dad though. I would never EVER take it back, but it doesn't mean that I don't miss her. Because I do. I miss her a ton!!!! <br />So much has happened in the past 6-7 months. I got married, Henslee turned 1, then 1 1/2, she's growing up so much!! Marriage has been so fun, but has brought on a lot of feelings that I wasn't aware that I still had. I've had to really look deep inside me and figure out who I am through marriage. I love my husband so much and couldn't ask for a better man, but with all that I have been through in my life marriage can sometimes be a challenge. But man am I grateful for that!! It has made me grow up so much more!!!! Jared and I are crazy about one other and I would do anything for him and him me!!!!! <br />Another change that has happened in my life is of course Henslee :) My favorite little girl in the WHOLE world!!!!! She keeps growing up!! I love seeing how she moves and grows to look like Matt and I! She is just so happy all the time!!! she got a new little brother!!! Which I am so glad! she loves him so much!!! She is now 19 months!!! It has been a struggle though because we have found out that she isn't "normal". It breaks my heart to know that, but she is struggling to grow up as a normal little girl. She's been really slow in her development. She got glasses because she's practically blind. She barely started to crawl and now she loves to crawl. But she still doesn't walk. She is getting better and stronger everyday but it is a struggle for her. It breaks my heart. I love her so much!!!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM7atyX3E5I_1OIh0wNwCQWCqOvJuHhsrrY-OQBA8bCmEFX4U3juogaOo_fkVxPitykit0sWXR4exQjN9hiMQxR582zCv_HplnrFSMKdk8x50Rh5CUmqYF8BE0tPhg2tOIo_-V1oGDLHc/s1600/0a_4983ab+%252822%2529.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM7atyX3E5I_1OIh0wNwCQWCqOvJuHhsrrY-OQBA8bCmEFX4U3juogaOo_fkVxPitykit0sWXR4exQjN9hiMQxR582zCv_HplnrFSMKdk8x50Rh5CUmqYF8BE0tPhg2tOIo_-V1oGDLHc/s200/0a_4983ab+%252822%2529.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629237736335596258" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS-9ag1aCXoKnaCNrREegC0rTUluuN3eVpoI53UgI090MLd2BUjQQPiXOyDJjAIV23IV2XzFpdcdS3eVJyQSyUTXmmrTjB21Gq2F9XckptW4TMDYJ9y_rzdievdgw6NiWSJT6xzeFrAek/s1600/IMG_2160.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS-9ag1aCXoKnaCNrREegC0rTUluuN3eVpoI53UgI090MLd2BUjQQPiXOyDJjAIV23IV2XzFpdcdS3eVJyQSyUTXmmrTjB21Gq2F9XckptW4TMDYJ9y_rzdievdgw6NiWSJT6xzeFrAek/s200/IMG_2160.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629239814737688098" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_aZgjdSGMP3fhwBf4FJg1njnpFeRMtL_GBM2YTbnWgyskrSie_YSbjTAa29Dy-Ie8X5zJ5DD2dUL6xore3v2ZkNrn42Y594QXUZ6ewKKdffdTkOVlO3IVyDZBL5Fn0omcjhe3bnMdrjU/s1600/a_5532aa+%25284%2529.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_aZgjdSGMP3fhwBf4FJg1njnpFeRMtL_GBM2YTbnWgyskrSie_YSbjTAa29Dy-Ie8X5zJ5DD2dUL6xore3v2ZkNrn42Y594QXUZ6ewKKdffdTkOVlO3IVyDZBL5Fn0omcjhe3bnMdrjU/s200/a_5532aa+%25284%2529.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629237733668467922" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdEQ_a4upmKSo_bMEL-XOW6HtXfk1yPRKeZfyLptmcB4jqS8Oq4SQXa3aj3QiB3rbjQ0G8GjLnz8RG4LRqt16D52h0exCMldxAy8G4aTjq-cvHKy6QTDmPgi_0inKvUB-v4tx8mx2Dh20/s1600/0a_4983ab+%252820%2529.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdEQ_a4upmKSo_bMEL-XOW6HtXfk1yPRKeZfyLptmcB4jqS8Oq4SQXa3aj3QiB3rbjQ0G8GjLnz8RG4LRqt16D52h0exCMldxAy8G4aTjq-cvHKy6QTDmPgi_0inKvUB-v4tx8mx2Dh20/s200/0a_4983ab+%252820%2529.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629237725599431682" /></a><br />This was Henslee's first birthday :)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh93bG2hyqY3KPavvaWDINPxDuqxoDf3a1WmUv74CeQsUQaEZqAJcbVhqpGlQmdqWL-j2R4amKwJ1Ym7CP3Pua-a5EPkjh6n7_CxmFGFIa9ZBNdKd3icmQnZ6MnU2YUXh46QXZCfdy_INI/s1600/IMG_2188.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 168px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh93bG2hyqY3KPavvaWDINPxDuqxoDf3a1WmUv74CeQsUQaEZqAJcbVhqpGlQmdqWL-j2R4amKwJ1Ym7CP3Pua-a5EPkjh6n7_CxmFGFIa9ZBNdKd3icmQnZ6MnU2YUXh46QXZCfdy_INI/s200/IMG_2188.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629239837681182098" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWxzjfLjzB_6IyNl7ZzQ9nASmrbPYfoJfJk0JY5ly2vxlwLHIzvsqdLmJF-rUTEFbq1h162Kty041I-ir-jd62vepf7bGeebAq2G4RMieL6cHQZxvQZD6NMamSgsIWuUHx_x1daLVsw_U/s1600/IMG_2178.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWxzjfLjzB_6IyNl7ZzQ9nASmrbPYfoJfJk0JY5ly2vxlwLHIzvsqdLmJF-rUTEFbq1h162Kty041I-ir-jd62vepf7bGeebAq2G4RMieL6cHQZxvQZD6NMamSgsIWuUHx_x1daLVsw_U/s200/IMG_2178.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629239826706467570" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMF8GJS7hlHyXgm27B3WON8RnBO07zIA4BZzvsQhUr50rbPUwfCMaHTkHcqJzq3Ws60MnljZwdNHxPIlFv8ryrCX7B8MWH-80suac4Ik7aFb6QQlqELXNVNJcJO5xxr-FQoXgr-1s1rU/s1600/IMG_2191.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMF8GJS7hlHyXgm27B3WON8RnBO07zIA4BZzvsQhUr50rbPUwfCMaHTkHcqJzq3Ws60MnljZwdNHxPIlFv8ryrCX7B8MWH-80suac4Ik7aFb6QQlqELXNVNJcJO5xxr-FQoXgr-1s1rU/s200/IMG_2191.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629239819521039026" /></a><br />More of Henslee's Birthday :)<br />We celebrated it ALL week!!! We went to the Zoo and out to dinner, she has a wonderful birthday party at the park, and we did a photo shoot!!! Greatest week EVER!!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpefw8pDEisgtQf7ItxAMxjkhfCynJPHpapNy6Fe3MaKP3ZFGRnfBMOxpVmx6zfkBuqIZva6LSCLyykASiYAtWIGzb2DwPFeC_Ze2rJMrpasKItzD2qIJyop5U60RlrGrFo3P5BHuN0nU/s1600/IMG_2245.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpefw8pDEisgtQf7ItxAMxjkhfCynJPHpapNy6Fe3MaKP3ZFGRnfBMOxpVmx6zfkBuqIZva6LSCLyykASiYAtWIGzb2DwPFeC_Ze2rJMrpasKItzD2qIJyop5U60RlrGrFo3P5BHuN0nU/s200/IMG_2245.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629239840477618338" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmAq-aNJUfV61_IvF8zglavZj8LHWmInf2BvGJE0daMIpbQlCJVelNos82aO4BQCoDa_AqM_Eczp9QFRSsU86x7wh9pdHgHTSLAYd3_hMzXDcg3SqFWkG-qXe4p-3NYfpwcqFLjkoK-SI/s1600/IMG_2298.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmAq-aNJUfV61_IvF8zglavZj8LHWmInf2BvGJE0daMIpbQlCJVelNos82aO4BQCoDa_AqM_Eczp9QFRSsU86x7wh9pdHgHTSLAYd3_hMzXDcg3SqFWkG-qXe4p-3NYfpwcqFLjkoK-SI/s200/IMG_2298.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629241934740760882" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_S1sQ43CCv0eDVx39HCct6MVElWzK2amIAmtC4dcWJSO54oSNJqmR9wHi-FM8R2Ujw80jUZ1iAOA4BO7GCyZ7fORiKimxvasCzghuZPiesNyLlXN0MGlZNXUiJHICkp4IL50cqd3d0QM/s1600/IMG_2236.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_S1sQ43CCv0eDVx39HCct6MVElWzK2amIAmtC4dcWJSO54oSNJqmR9wHi-FM8R2Ujw80jUZ1iAOA4BO7GCyZ7fORiKimxvasCzghuZPiesNyLlXN0MGlZNXUiJHICkp4IL50cqd3d0QM/s200/IMG_2236.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629241925838922082" /></a><br />This is Christmas time!!! Olesia is Nixon's birthmom. She also is one of my best friends! I am so glad that we get to share a wonderful family! This is us together at christmas time. <br />I have so many pictures I don't even know which ones to put on!!!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3tWOGnAe-68898boBE4QeSrvI3woMpnI6lUOFBGksjz4_icYQrX-C4bEZI8dUnY300O-4hIJYSqdHAA20qPZdoWciogDr9b76NzS-lPVtgDssadEOiv0zg2CqdIjpVhsMgsKvlrMlqyo/s1600/DSCN3841.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 182px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3tWOGnAe-68898boBE4QeSrvI3woMpnI6lUOFBGksjz4_icYQrX-C4bEZI8dUnY300O-4hIJYSqdHAA20qPZdoWciogDr9b76NzS-lPVtgDssadEOiv0zg2CqdIjpVhsMgsKvlrMlqyo/s200/DSCN3841.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629252051426499122" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNJ2GP-y9bfjccv5LmwJPAcyGKYY5NsTGwniys0NmR0_6bqYUdqReVgEcHVSK3LEyaEWqbFbU0hLua-IrvWBuhIqypPha11SKDV4Eid6jHmm0wqSUFZocwtKFrbVHDO-QI-RfMIFxrCHA/s1600/DSCN3829.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 126px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNJ2GP-y9bfjccv5LmwJPAcyGKYY5NsTGwniys0NmR0_6bqYUdqReVgEcHVSK3LEyaEWqbFbU0hLua-IrvWBuhIqypPha11SKDV4Eid6jHmm0wqSUFZocwtKFrbVHDO-QI-RfMIFxrCHA/s200/DSCN3829.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629252041409676082" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE4nv_hceqromI6YFaVIbvTv5AyMmQ3OK-nyr85SNhGVj41bZhnB0nAlRGDCMjSGgcwExj522Ocf0ymrxOZ0eW0jV0yoWVeBLCyy9o_J7rB2Y0Xb1_4fxsdcqmT62tXxQY24DRAIcZJyg/s1600/DSCN3826.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE4nv_hceqromI6YFaVIbvTv5AyMmQ3OK-nyr85SNhGVj41bZhnB0nAlRGDCMjSGgcwExj522Ocf0ymrxOZ0eW0jV0yoWVeBLCyy9o_J7rB2Y0Xb1_4fxsdcqmT62tXxQY24DRAIcZJyg/s200/DSCN3826.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629252035804924818" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnUqjNS9Kdja9RR5jLqPGjyyV0o_h_o-utAt3EoakztULQmT0RY66wdNvMx5jCEKHg_Hzq9ZHgaOC9p_1d4pZNC-ZmJ5LnG2bPO7Xb3tDA3MhtnA_V2UATB4csA_ZXYAKYsG8EnsOh6UI/s1600/DSCN3729.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 172px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnUqjNS9Kdja9RR5jLqPGjyyV0o_h_o-utAt3EoakztULQmT0RY66wdNvMx5jCEKHg_Hzq9ZHgaOC9p_1d4pZNC-ZmJ5LnG2bPO7Xb3tDA3MhtnA_V2UATB4csA_ZXYAKYsG8EnsOh6UI/s200/DSCN3729.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629252026763569010" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTl7vU3bepOJZWhYkn7ixw2pfSkgPoBmO0xN9GVGD26C5raj4LRPaxySVctvcL7K-RnW63Wd6xugLzeg3B7dGx3cMSZT2KXCGYbwBinKHcE5ypwv_zrOxwjiuf26mZsQw3DD2ErFaIYL4/s1600/DSCN3717.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTl7vU3bepOJZWhYkn7ixw2pfSkgPoBmO0xN9GVGD26C5raj4LRPaxySVctvcL7K-RnW63Wd6xugLzeg3B7dGx3cMSZT2KXCGYbwBinKHcE5ypwv_zrOxwjiuf26mZsQw3DD2ErFaIYL4/s200/DSCN3717.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629252015642411234" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-37320777606270433892010-11-20T11:37:00.000-08:002010-11-20T11:40:05.815-08:00ALMOST A YEAR!Henslee is a year in less then 2 weeks!!! It's crazy to think how fast time flies! She can crawl now and is so cute!! I miss her so much but am so happy she has the GREATEST parents EVER!! I love Jesse and Jaymie more then anything! They have blessed my life in so many ways! I am so grateful for them and couldn't have asked for better parents to raise Henslee!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-13511619636070555422010-09-26T18:07:00.000-07:002010-09-26T18:16:34.956-07:00Forever FriendsSo I am so in love with this guy and I am so blessed to have met him. I honestly think that it was because of the fact that I placed Henslee that he came into my life. I can't believe that it hasn't even been a year yet and I am in love. I know the Lord played a huge role in putting us together. I couldn't have asked for anything better. He is my better half and I m grateful for the fact that Matt left me. I never thought I would say that either, but life does happen and things change and I am in love with the most amazing man in the world who loves Henslee and is willing to let her be apart of our lives forever! That is a huge sacrifice that he is doing for me. I know it's hard for him to except the fact that I "loved" another man, but he has forgiven me and loves me for who i am. I love him so very much and appreciate all he does for me. I still miss Henslee and love her, but she has her family. It does still hurt, but a different pain. I didn't see her for a whole month and I was still breathing!! That was the longest I have ever gone without seeing her and I am alive to speak about it so I guess I could go longer ;). (Not that I want to though). I hope that everyone knows I was able to heal because of the Lord and because of the fact that I have an amazing couple that helped me every step of the way!! They knew I was in pain and did everything to help me. They are the greatest people ever for always loving me even when i was a pill. ;)!! I love them so much and I love our open adoption. I couldn't have asked for a better couple to adopt Henslee. I love their family and can't wait to always stay connected. :) We are forever friends!<br /><br /><center><a href="http://www.widdlytinks.com/phototinks/"><img src="http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/8452/beachwedding8126182661.jpg" border="0" height="450" width="450" alt="Scrapbook at WiddlyTinks.com"></a><br><a href="http://www.widdlytinks.com/phototinks/">Scrapbooking</a> <a href="http://www.widdlytinks.com/phototinks/">Photo Tinks by WiddlyTinks.com</a></center>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-55142496788766817732010-08-21T01:46:00.000-07:002010-08-21T01:55:07.500-07:00benefits!I am so gratefull for my open adoption!!!! This past week has been amazing!! I drove up to Utah with my boyfriend and one of the nights we stayed in Logan (Nibbley) with Henslee's gradparents! They are the mosdt amazing people ever! It was so fun getting to know their family and learning about Henslee's parents. I feel as if i am part of the family and am so gratful to them for ALL they do for me. I am SOOO spoiled!!! I know that Henslee will always be well taken care of and I know she is loved by SOOO many people. If it wasn't for an open adoption I would never have gotten to see that to the extent that I have. I'll post more pictures soon. She grows daily! I love her so much!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-11392053407252698392010-08-11T00:38:00.000-07:002010-08-11T00:47:53.397-07:00August 11This blog has helped me clear my head a ton through this process. I think that I will probably write less and less now that my life is moving in a different direction. I honestly can say I never thought this day would come. I thought that I would always have a hurt and a pain for Henslee. That is not true. It's not a hurt and a pain. It's a love that has no ending! She still means the world to me and always will. <br />I asked to go see her on Thursday because I needed to clear my head. It's weird, but when I'm with her the stresses of life just go away. I can see much clearer looking at her. Because when I look at her I see what life is about. It helps me. I had a hard Friday night because I found out that my best friend got herself into the same situation I was in 16 months ago. She is pregnant. It made my mind go back to all the emotions I felt through the process. It hurt to know that I am going to have to see her suffer and know what it's like and not be able to help in anyway. She seems way stronger then I was though and I know that she will be okay. I was angry that I had to help her at first because I felt that I wasn't strong enough. I then got an overpowering feeling that I was strong enough and that it was my duty to help her through this. I sure hope that I do. She is my best friend.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-51969700826714976452010-08-02T21:36:00.000-07:002010-08-02T21:39:12.936-07:00New pictures<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGwhnD7SY4nqU0GHdqK7nrJaSygytpF8J0a6eociytUosRmuX5nnCgWnB81TfRtky-ZEn2yy1RKJoyiYUAtBUDpKMcx4uTNbAJdpRz0kgjs24CGo2pjduKyMmWKF79KTxgznr0CBR-qW0/s1600/Aug+1+043.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 298px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGwhnD7SY4nqU0GHdqK7nrJaSygytpF8J0a6eociytUosRmuX5nnCgWnB81TfRtky-ZEn2yy1RKJoyiYUAtBUDpKMcx4uTNbAJdpRz0kgjs24CGo2pjduKyMmWKF79KTxgznr0CBR-qW0/s320/Aug+1+043.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501038414146602370" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTbkRyy-XCgTYFUhDPNEkWn87vzftxCc74o0bcAwJYNJIzlrBzzlG8_qyG5vnGN_YPE4SHfVGGxPMlZgE_jVQzJoCJ5IoH6EvMwTgDHcWFVHiRvjFA3Ik5hiWvE_qJIDPmQx75A7NMgpQ/s1600/Aug+1+005.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTbkRyy-XCgTYFUhDPNEkWn87vzftxCc74o0bcAwJYNJIzlrBzzlG8_qyG5vnGN_YPE4SHfVGGxPMlZgE_jVQzJoCJ5IoH6EvMwTgDHcWFVHiRvjFA3Ik5hiWvE_qJIDPmQx75A7NMgpQ/s320/Aug+1+005.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501038410800484594" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxBX_v7D_VM46fDcEHxYpKytlCj6nt6sAfWe4VArmwgs1q_xZr5hJe-pCEvICjIvVhMisFLbYWpEYtodineVZ5sNL7A4SV7o6L9cjjCAIk2ebu2UukP-Ozn87Gx_Yn3ipPcXg8fGbB-FI/s1600/Aug+1+001.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxBX_v7D_VM46fDcEHxYpKytlCj6nt6sAfWe4VArmwgs1q_xZr5hJe-pCEvICjIvVhMisFLbYWpEYtodineVZ5sNL7A4SV7o6L9cjjCAIk2ebu2UukP-Ozn87Gx_Yn3ipPcXg8fGbB-FI/s320/Aug+1+001.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501038400769706802" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvKqlgjgaQ0KFRV896HE-U_ajxS-of5O6OlMsbsjdZYQUyIHsAaox1uxhlS_nW5tjBkiimKzU5fOXiNhjqky6IWYtF4r9l6xvfiCJq48YSBWBzxKSWI9F7sakKH6SgeWGJh62apFgfdNA/s1600/JULY+27,+2010+010.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 252px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvKqlgjgaQ0KFRV896HE-U_ajxS-of5O6OlMsbsjdZYQUyIHsAaox1uxhlS_nW5tjBkiimKzU5fOXiNhjqky6IWYtF4r9l6xvfiCJq48YSBWBzxKSWI9F7sakKH6SgeWGJh62apFgfdNA/s320/JULY+27,+2010+010.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501038391797580066" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-60690086425972286192010-08-01T22:15:00.000-07:002010-08-01T22:31:07.850-07:00SO HAPPYIt's been a while since I have posted. I have been super busy with a ton of work and stuff. This week has been awesome!! I got to see Henslee TWICE this past week!!! I called her parents on Wed. after work because I really wanted to visit her this weekend and they said of course!!! So I was planning on seeing her on Saturday. Then the next day I get a text randomly saying that they were on my side of town and seeing what I was doing. It was the greatest surprise EVER!!!! I got to see her Thursday! Then on Saturday they had to come down again and I got to see her AGAIN!! I am the luckiest girl EVER!!! Her parents are absolutely amazing and I am so grateful for them!! I seriously am so happy that they are her parents. I couldn't ask for a better adoptive couple!!<br /><br />On a side note there is somethings that have been bugging me. I have been dating this boy and we are getting serious. He has known about Henslee from day one and when he speaks about her my heart melts. She has never been an issue and never will be an issue, but this past week I have had to deal with his family finding out. It as been hard on me to realize how many lives this has effected and will effect forever. It hurts to see him talk to his family about it because they just can't understand. They talk to him about how he needs to be careful because he is a return missionary and wants to get married in the temple and how dating me he needs to set boundaries and stuff. I am thankful for all that information and I am glad that they care, but then again I also feel like they are saying this stuff again and again because they know I have had issues in the past with the law of chastity. I think i'm probably just taking offense to nothing, but I feel as if because I have had a kid they are being extra hard on us. I wish they could understand some of the pain that I went through. I don't think they understand that I made a mistake just like thousands of others, got pregnant and did what I felt was best for her. I fell like all they see is the fact that I had sex. I don't even know if this is making any sense, but I am hurting because I want them to understand the sacrifice that I have made, not just the choice I made. I don't want to be judged for what I did. I want people to understand that from the choice I made came a beautiful thing and made me SO STRONG!!! I want them to see me for who I am not what I did. People just have a hard time though, and it really sucks because I am madly in love with this guy and these people will most likely become my family in the future. I hope one day they understand the sacrifice I made, not just the mistake.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-3016344289791234732010-07-15T13:07:00.000-07:002010-07-15T13:08:35.408-07:0028 hours!I GET TO SEE HER IN 28 hours from right now!!!!!! I am the most excited person in the world!!!! She makes me so happy and seeing her makes my life so much brighter and wonderful!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-56330378101839734452010-07-14T16:40:00.000-07:002010-07-15T13:03:43.511-07:00LIFE IS HAPPENING AGAINI miss Henslee, but am moving on. I feel that as time goes on my sorrow becomes less. My hole gets smaller. Things are happening for me!! I have a ton of amazing options in my life and am so excited to push forward. I have been looking back for so long that it was hard to move forward, but now im ready. I'm never going to let go and move on, but I am going to move forward! I love Henslee and get to see her this Friday because the couple ASKED ME to come see her this week!! I was SOOO happy when they asked if I wanted to come out and see her!! I wanted to so bad, but was scared to ask cuz she's sealed now, but they asked me and all the fears went away. Nothing has changed. They still love me and I love them!!! This is going to be a forever relationship together and I am so grateful for them and I know they wil help Henslee grow in righteousness!!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-55309157067526812452010-07-05T11:36:00.000-07:002010-07-05T11:44:35.569-07:00I LOVE YOU HENSLEEThis past weekend I got really sick so today I took work off to relax and get better. I never take work off. It's been a god morning. Woke up about nine and I'm still sitting in bed :). I have been posting pictures of Henslee on Facebook. I swore I would never do that in case somebody didn't know, but I just wanted to show her off. It's so weird how empty I feel right now. I miss her and looking at her just makes me smile from ear to ear. I love seeing her and watching all the videos I have of her. It really brightens up my day. I can't wait to see her again, but I know I shouldn't get excited for it, because I need to start moving on with my life. I'm at a road block but instead of choosing one way or the other I feel as if i'm walking in circles waiting for the two paths to some how move into one. I know they never will though. My life is a life without Henslee. I need to move forward. I just don't know how. :(. Even though I miss her I still can't believe how happy I am at where she is at in life. I am SO happy she's with her mom and dad! That just brightens my day SOO much!!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-4787685101811421842010-07-02T19:06:00.001-07:002010-07-02T19:47:59.730-07:007 months<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_rX6FCMpRFEr0k_ebwmtM8RjrzZVlQbFqLsdhKAqp6W9WKGGyiOAhPImTTMoLg0suLgUrp7aseMCdE8KxjuWFUcxCTXvdJ-ILABZXiPNsC4qScE48u8Vz6rodKraMjXWOTG7_x6pYLvA/s1600/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+107.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_rX6FCMpRFEr0k_ebwmtM8RjrzZVlQbFqLsdhKAqp6W9WKGGyiOAhPImTTMoLg0suLgUrp7aseMCdE8KxjuWFUcxCTXvdJ-ILABZXiPNsC4qScE48u8Vz6rodKraMjXWOTG7_x6pYLvA/s320/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+107.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489498176210161474" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEYB0RL1jwSh76VUsvo7mIPPCRZwUYvgOmDfBfvZIM9Sz2cvmwfSZlP1dm6us301q50RNx1BN372sXxM30TlfTHCDLUtCh9YN8yE4m40xrQ2syHvcOIrYUdEAjpa8jGhL7Bm4Gq-54Eus/s1600/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+099.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEYB0RL1jwSh76VUsvo7mIPPCRZwUYvgOmDfBfvZIM9Sz2cvmwfSZlP1dm6us301q50RNx1BN372sXxM30TlfTHCDLUtCh9YN8yE4m40xrQ2syHvcOIrYUdEAjpa8jGhL7Bm4Gq-54Eus/s320/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+099.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489498166829185506" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh_UZlhcJb4s9FBEKp6_43nXiFxPxydGn7lNW80tT2LWxlWu_PgqFhz1wnGRGITTqbf2po4ytI-82FNrl2nUOFEs2XLM012KcegX6lLMOx2cT_dvFzd487fg6HarFD8y73NByeMIQBBWM/s1600/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+090.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh_UZlhcJb4s9FBEKp6_43nXiFxPxydGn7lNW80tT2LWxlWu_PgqFhz1wnGRGITTqbf2po4ytI-82FNrl2nUOFEs2XLM012KcegX6lLMOx2cT_dvFzd487fg6HarFD8y73NByeMIQBBWM/s320/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+090.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489498153176382162" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVHBYzFE70YL2mC-yL4HnDmtC2TQ6KuHiQ8eWpC_Wp66I5q5NRICbgXxuMFZv77Ip4cNaWZ1Uuv8mKMI30NXU4YYBMUIDlQ9asRRzAxrND9x30R8m1RHKhhYZ9MegP7S0p6oomPO2XZm8/s1600/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+064.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVHBYzFE70YL2mC-yL4HnDmtC2TQ6KuHiQ8eWpC_Wp66I5q5NRICbgXxuMFZv77Ip4cNaWZ1Uuv8mKMI30NXU4YYBMUIDlQ9asRRzAxrND9x30R8m1RHKhhYZ9MegP7S0p6oomPO2XZm8/s320/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+064.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489498147178658002" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqb-pRmsCw7AAZxdshnLK4d9qsafOVMhrVnis0Vf-9KXQzWNMy4GWnBsoiFZbRY8vrMuaA7uPNuRcHUKNeik0ooFVBrRa5goswjDKZxHhGQlnjuTqSl_COlsseF0PuAs9uKMceQ-b5Yeo/s1600/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+074.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqb-pRmsCw7AAZxdshnLK4d9qsafOVMhrVnis0Vf-9KXQzWNMy4GWnBsoiFZbRY8vrMuaA7uPNuRcHUKNeik0ooFVBrRa5goswjDKZxHhGQlnjuTqSl_COlsseF0PuAs9uKMceQ-b5Yeo/s320/Mayjunejuly+of+lindsey+074.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489498137209605506" /></a><br />Today Henslee is 7 months. She is getting so big and time has just flown right out the window. She is in Utah with her family and is just so happy to be up there. I got a picture of her today which I am SOOO grateful for!! Her parents are so good to me and make me feel loved. I'm still scared that things will be different now that it is finalized. They keep telling me that nothing is going to change, but as soon as it was finalized with so many other birth mom's they stopped talking to them, or cut the communication down a ton!!! I hope my couple doesn't. I don't think they will cuz they are amazing, but we'll see. <br />I am super sick today and couldn't go to work or do anything today. That is a first for me so it's been nice to relax. Last night when I was in bed with lots of pain I just felt like I was in the hospital again with contractions from Henslee. It was so weird. I miss her tons and think about her often, but couldn't be happier with where she is. I look at my life and think it would be so different if I was a mom right now. I just am so happy for the way everything turned out. I love Henslee and will FOREVER!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-23647032890131361452010-07-01T21:17:00.000-07:002010-07-02T19:06:12.760-07:00RANDOM thoughtsSaturday went well.. Everything is final. It is a numb empty feeling that I can't explain. It feels like I can't ever see her again. It's so weird. I know I can but I feel like I have no say on anything anymore. It's what I want so I am happy for everything, but at the same time... I just am numb. I dunno. Life has been good and hard for me. I've been SOO busy and it's hard on me to be so busy. I don't ever really get out anymore and I always have a lot of things to get done. I feel like I never have a minute to think about it or her. So that's a good thing. It hit me really hard last Friday night, but now it's all over and there is nothing I can do about it so I am just moving on. She's gone forever. I am so happy that she has a mom and dad. I miss her daily and love her more then words could ever say!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-1631033837832790562010-06-24T12:39:00.001-07:002010-06-24T12:48:38.522-07:00Some new pictures :)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiD5YXEeZ1XE3Jf_AGDULnQSC-z6p4vgtLjcz6pNSFZLxnG8BKmcGL-C8fOCK72MdYf9i4MfvFI3Otln_CR0BNfBSZTyjcCcgPipmAZu-RxWuaE09MslzuoC1pDhHqv0WEpIIv3WWeoTc/s1600/a_7375.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 229px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiD5YXEeZ1XE3Jf_AGDULnQSC-z6p4vgtLjcz6pNSFZLxnG8BKmcGL-C8fOCK72MdYf9i4MfvFI3Otln_CR0BNfBSZTyjcCcgPipmAZu-RxWuaE09MslzuoC1pDhHqv0WEpIIv3WWeoTc/s320/a_7375.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486429058868306562" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJg0_3YbkL7zg-yJpeZSFIbxWrlUtzJdChRyVC_NCBf_Lt_ZF5oEOpeth4J2KmJ4WBUtDhwsElQMw8O22Iaf91JpAtYa8xuwiSjYb8pSxBLebAGcMKK_L_Dft_HohyphenhyphennbkbwsIGlVK8ug/s1600/a_7099.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 229px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJg0_3YbkL7zg-yJpeZSFIbxWrlUtzJdChRyVC_NCBf_Lt_ZF5oEOpeth4J2KmJ4WBUtDhwsElQMw8O22Iaf91JpAtYa8xuwiSjYb8pSxBLebAGcMKK_L_Dft_HohyphenhyphennbkbwsIGlVK8ug/s320/a_7099.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486429040296289666" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaoLWOVhDLPadie9MvF2tuLLRLjUebdAaHuc-oGVLO_KGy2eLxEDtZUArCyIJypq3h1i48pTWNIzwzgUpSiW5u8v9-Sm1XumrztGNOuXXd5eMWXXFYVPPkxjq3T8HVROCzuzuMybmATEs/s1600/a_7320p.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 229px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaoLWOVhDLPadie9MvF2tuLLRLjUebdAaHuc-oGVLO_KGy2eLxEDtZUArCyIJypq3h1i48pTWNIzwzgUpSiW5u8v9-Sm1XumrztGNOuXXd5eMWXXFYVPPkxjq3T8HVROCzuzuMybmATEs/s320/a_7320p.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486429021107840978" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoiGyoQ0wfNfWgvVEtcOHzsQbjw5pHSnV6nmbRzPfazD8p-_95rfQE16Nq51VGUwG4f1Nz1D88SNpycrw45zl8BiIdWLaS0HOfeMlqVprlXEMp0-JqNxPkwCo2mdMl57lFJKKQTj9RR6I/s1600/a_7036.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 229px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoiGyoQ0wfNfWgvVEtcOHzsQbjw5pHSnV6nmbRzPfazD8p-_95rfQE16Nq51VGUwG4f1Nz1D88SNpycrw45zl8BiIdWLaS0HOfeMlqVprlXEMp0-JqNxPkwCo2mdMl57lFJKKQTj9RR6I/s320/a_7036.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486429014585637954" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_6pI6yVE61bYrzHbzj6cn5Yh4GrWemSoB_8pH1jwMHHppPCUdOhP__yEEJ23lweFVcDPvwFrZ-m5h1aMq2klp7d4L4iGezPO7wFZi_sKtvI_sRDtFvQER4puOPF7uLvPhh7DllJwgEXg/s1600/a_6926a.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 229px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_6pI6yVE61bYrzHbzj6cn5Yh4GrWemSoB_8pH1jwMHHppPCUdOhP__yEEJ23lweFVcDPvwFrZ-m5h1aMq2klp7d4L4iGezPO7wFZi_sKtvI_sRDtFvQER4puOPF7uLvPhh7DllJwgEXg/s320/a_6926a.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486428999190400546" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmy-qEbx0rJSkmsmaJIFWUklRMKrTe3yInStqZTE9NF8CcSsYEp14ejsDOmwLZOT-rO2xNfGf9iAYDyJMoPRMl9cnpoBWEFqIPn9WmgH7xyGtBOJ0eha440ShPyUe0QxwpXYc4iwpBNzE/s1600/june12+023.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 299px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmy-qEbx0rJSkmsmaJIFWUklRMKrTe3yInStqZTE9NF8CcSsYEp14ejsDOmwLZOT-rO2xNfGf9iAYDyJMoPRMl9cnpoBWEFqIPn9WmgH7xyGtBOJ0eha440ShPyUe0QxwpXYc4iwpBNzE/s320/june12+023.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486427702075563506" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ_4FtPsVQNxcr6zqCFIewwJeZOETXaRRKJoAci6vNoP75izqQ3ghIRuaNnbleDuPY7ZGg8VkWI8Fy6QM-0fX2L9ztS0a_1P42oJF1PJdGfsWhhkMD97M0g29XCYewDsD929LhubJEJ4w/s1600/june12+020.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ_4FtPsVQNxcr6zqCFIewwJeZOETXaRRKJoAci6vNoP75izqQ3ghIRuaNnbleDuPY7ZGg8VkWI8Fy6QM-0fX2L9ztS0a_1P42oJF1PJdGfsWhhkMD97M0g29XCYewDsD929LhubJEJ4w/s320/june12+020.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486427696062899698" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKFUS84B-uCyZSWvh5K6pA9GX_BjLSJ3A2gJPRkG0RNxKqeEzUo7ft3O9fR2A-g-GhwVYbDUQEF03UeeHZvH9RDBNzC-4iR9TMKi0nZApLnht4V1pKaCTPKbDxShi3x3Wbi-0bivdm7b8/s1600/june12+058.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKFUS84B-uCyZSWvh5K6pA9GX_BjLSJ3A2gJPRkG0RNxKqeEzUo7ft3O9fR2A-g-GhwVYbDUQEF03UeeHZvH9RDBNzC-4iR9TMKi0nZApLnht4V1pKaCTPKbDxShi3x3Wbi-0bivdm7b8/s320/june12+058.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486427677771991666" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgaebnnAnUelMgeXBywUszabxOlBGjnL98WZZnFk0I73S9bJhyphenhyphen88fpeBIJg7bPefzK9DSyK1pqo3Lvl7NtxOIVSFoqpx4IudyBtVNrBvLzQOUl0rD66TLPUdXo2iaSXa36ezqt78iHUew/s1600/june12+013.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgaebnnAnUelMgeXBywUszabxOlBGjnL98WZZnFk0I73S9bJhyphenhyphen88fpeBIJg7bPefzK9DSyK1pqo3Lvl7NtxOIVSFoqpx4IudyBtVNrBvLzQOUl0rD66TLPUdXo2iaSXa36ezqt78iHUew/s320/june12+013.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486427653722288850" /></a><br /><br /><br />The court date went well. Everything went fast and was fine. I got to meet a lot more of Henslee's cousins and family. I will get to meet even more on Saturday. I can't wait. But I can wait for the sealing. ;)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-83304289044129835382010-06-22T20:31:00.000-07:002010-06-22T20:36:42.346-07:00TomorrowTomorrow is a day of happiness and sorrow all in one. Tomorrow Henslee will officially be Henslee L Maughan. It hurts, but is dim because of the joy I feel for her to have a mom and dad. She is so loved and they are so happy. I am so thankful for them to all be together at last. (Even if I am going to hurt). I decided that I am going to go and be at the court date with them. I want to see them happy and her happy. I am very excited, but sad at the same time. It's a happy sad. I love her very much and just wish she knew the love i felt for her. I wish she could love me back like I love her, but she will never because she has another mom who gets all that love. But that is what I want for her. I want her to have that mom that doesn't have to work and will be there for her every step of the way! Her father will always provide and scare away her boyfriends. That is exactly what I wanted for her!! :) I can't wait to see her tomorrow! I love the dress she is going to wear!!! I love her with ALL my heart and soul and hope for the best.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-55698337151780092872010-06-11T00:36:00.000-07:002010-06-11T00:42:05.231-07:00Cry Baby LindseyI wish people could understand how I am feeling. It's so annoying having these moments where there is so much pain and then I start to cry. I wish they could understand. I am going through HELL right now LEAVE me alone!! I had a very rough night tonight. I watched the video I made for henslee last night with some friends to show them what I went through and I forgot how real it was and still is. It really opened the wounds for me and ever since I have been just a cry baby. Which I NEVER cry so it's amazing that I go cry. A LOT. I even cried in front of people. NEVER do i do that! NEVER!!! I can't WAIT to see her saturday and am looking forward to it SOOOOOOO much!!!! I am so grateful for my open adoption. I am so grateful that I get to see her as often as I do. I miss her and love her SOOOOOOOOOOO0OOOO much!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-24683911195885987092010-06-08T16:30:00.000-07:002010-06-08T16:36:18.825-07:00Just to see you smileI went to the temple the other night with friends. I stood in front of it looking at it. Then a picture popped into my mind of Jesse and Jaymie walking out of it with their little girl after her being sealed to them. Their faces were happy and Jaymie had tear lines on her face. It is an image still presented very well in my mind. I started to cry. I couldn't stop the tears. It was like a dream as I watched them hug their family and be all together. It hurt. I couldn't stop the tears. I felt awkward being with my friends so i walked away from them with the tears still pouring down my cheeks. I saw something that is going to be happening very soon. It really hurt me to see how happy they were. I want that happiness too. It's really hard to hear the word Sealed. I just get the biggest pit in my stomach. I miss her so much, but know that she will be happy too. I could see her smiling with her family. I did this for her happiness and that is what she's getting.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2459887562478115935.post-38893521476493586802010-06-06T03:13:00.000-07:002010-06-06T03:29:29.219-07:00Pictures from my birthday Visit!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9hV0_ZcrbdDhreoJ-HUCKgPeB_fYQGiyq8yCrUxbOiYWyjb2pttwD00Tg10SIwtLlzDovibHfLyl-A_X2nCYB5YJ78rMXAOA2LJLIhpyU746BcJvuGAhvigFCZ9cUYhKGD68oi-hoFQ/s1600/lindsey+20th+birthday+145.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9hV0_ZcrbdDhreoJ-HUCKgPeB_fYQGiyq8yCrUxbOiYWyjb2pttwD00Tg10SIwtLlzDovibHfLyl-A_X2nCYB5YJ78rMXAOA2LJLIhpyU746BcJvuGAhvigFCZ9cUYhKGD68oi-hoFQ/s320/lindsey+20th+birthday+145.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479605268579886706" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9XmSoaw_DJ6SFxDwSGQHfGOoWatY6ipMdyfbDL0aQbsC6NmtUMlBQRQ5fm_Eg5-LVJBRL1uQ6YjfZlnYPyPC1M5FL-8k0izkCKYQb-hGXpfUAGg01i5gTzTLCKS_hezXaQwLILM_i-O8/s1600/lindsey+20th+birthday+111.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 314px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9XmSoaw_DJ6SFxDwSGQHfGOoWatY6ipMdyfbDL0aQbsC6NmtUMlBQRQ5fm_Eg5-LVJBRL1uQ6YjfZlnYPyPC1M5FL-8k0izkCKYQb-hGXpfUAGg01i5gTzTLCKS_hezXaQwLILM_i-O8/s320/lindsey+20th+birthday+111.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479605260680729522" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjq7b_ePlGhXCH6lI8sZ7cqYzAehDLXv1X_k1HNpr4-BIgIT87_6c7k8cViCJj9bRIFNPX4EiAL4tNygWQVNY90Y7gqyLWfLq3bChOipj6RfNtc-b-GHoG-49Pxmi9EYMEmDYmbvhzWs/s1600/lindsey+20th+birthday+136.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjq7b_ePlGhXCH6lI8sZ7cqYzAehDLXv1X_k1HNpr4-BIgIT87_6c7k8cViCJj9bRIFNPX4EiAL4tNygWQVNY90Y7gqyLWfLq3bChOipj6RfNtc-b-GHoG-49Pxmi9EYMEmDYmbvhzWs/s320/lindsey+20th+birthday+136.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479603975431058658" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzvH7uaRRChZ0x4VtxPgSR5uSN_rA_XvbKbIWNvKEkesZpBFEbcutFED3xCwThjIrhvzSN8xogkgGCWLxJUi5y1JZSJrukeEthVUzy5G7k3aKMyhNDDArV6UYeVHB8A7faBvGabdg_Q9Y/s1600/lindsey+20th+birthday+134.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzvH7uaRRChZ0x4VtxPgSR5uSN_rA_XvbKbIWNvKEkesZpBFEbcutFED3xCwThjIrhvzSN8xogkgGCWLxJUi5y1JZSJrukeEthVUzy5G7k3aKMyhNDDArV6UYeVHB8A7faBvGabdg_Q9Y/s320/lindsey+20th+birthday+134.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479603968317537122" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDmoUI5NoRoxAHGlu-Sbib7o7ZYw-9AJf1NL84PC1AdkDnTQrRhq2HHVSSfsHv-irkeSeSsgpZQBWXU737-ymX41dz3eHyC6_SaqnIN8rEZZJ43wS_V3X8EPJ0rbEdDUK5AHiN6Wr8e1I/s1600/lindsey+20th+birthday+119.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDmoUI5NoRoxAHGlu-Sbib7o7ZYw-9AJf1NL84PC1AdkDnTQrRhq2HHVSSfsHv-irkeSeSsgpZQBWXU737-ymX41dz3eHyC6_SaqnIN8rEZZJ43wS_V3X8EPJ0rbEdDUK5AHiN6Wr8e1I/s320/lindsey+20th+birthday+119.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479603958085621074" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih0QLoCkV4iyxAPShdJCwbWIirm-m1aNbVZmEKmTvOhVy8PUvTEXDByPnKc6Nsn1UN4Cg7qkSAeI2JxA8lZcXdCSHjtQ-jEs5_KFvyAYGRoMq_5AdxwTfzIgf5qm6iJbb4cI5H6LnYX-A/s1600/lindsey+20th+birthday+150.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih0QLoCkV4iyxAPShdJCwbWIirm-m1aNbVZmEKmTvOhVy8PUvTEXDByPnKc6Nsn1UN4Cg7qkSAeI2JxA8lZcXdCSHjtQ-jEs5_KFvyAYGRoMq_5AdxwTfzIgf5qm6iJbb4cI5H6LnYX-A/s320/lindsey+20th+birthday+150.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479603944582920834" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1