Rainy days and Mondays always get me Down

Henslee's first rainy day... I'm missing it :(
Henslee's first doctors apt... I missed it :(
Henslee is perfectly health the doctor says
My baby is perfect and I'm not there to see...

Matt is being a butthead. It really makes me so mad!
He asked Jesse and Jaymie to go and meet his parents last week and he didn't invite me. I have invited him to everything!!! Obviously my emotional needs mean nothing to him. Last night we went and visited them and had a good time. He loves her and I can tell. I asked him to go with me just to prove my point that I invite him to everything, I really didn't want him to go. I wanted to be with her. But he went and it wasn't so bad. It really sucks saying goodbye to her. I hate doing it. :( So then this morning I texted him and asked him if jesse and jaymie where keeping him updated on her events and he said yes and I was going to tell him that I didn't like that because I am the one that did EVERYTHING for nine months and all of a sudden he wants to be in her life! Uh I DON'T THINK SO!!!! Then he asks about the paternity test. UHHH I wanted to rip his head off!!!! He wants to see her, he wants to play with her, he wants to be updated, oh but he also DOESN'T THINK IT'S HIS! WOWOWOWOWOW! Can you say pathetic! MAN! How I hate boys!!!! He shouldn't be in her life unless I am there and he shouldn't talk to jesse and jaymie anymore. He should go through me. This is/was MY baby. He had no part in it except the fun part. AHHHH! I am so mad at him!
Also I hate that I can't call her mine anymore. I feel like she is mine, but she's not. Legally she's jesse and jaymie's. I hate that feeling. It hurts like no other. It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest!!! I hate this! I absolutely hate this.